Dating in Santa Barbara

I’ve come to realize that dating in Santa Barbara isn’t as difficult as many women in my age group believe. I have been guilty from time to time, but for the part, I believe it’s all in your attitude. While you may not meet “The One”, Mr. Right, your soulmate, your other half, nor any of the other quippy nouns invented, there are plenty of Mr. Right Now’s out there which can be hugely fun and entertaining while you trudge on with your never ending search.

Seriously, Mr. Right Now doesn’t require the same skill set as Mr. Wonderful. If he is fun to look at and you can tolerate him for more than an hour, he’ll suffice. I have quite a few man-friends that I date occasionally, and I always have a great time. Some I might like to strip down and abuse their bodies, and others not so much. That’s OK , too! And the more you date, the more life experiences you have. You just gotta get your head in the game.

For me, the first step is realizing I am in charge of my own good time. If my energy is off, I just close my eyes for a few minutes and remember that I am pretty damn fun. Once your energy is in the right place, Mr. Right Now will respond in kind. They can’t help it. When they are with an attractive, fun woman, they feed off the energy. Everybody does, not just the men.

You’ve probably noticed when you walk into a room, people react in some way. One time you may not be noticed at all and the next, all eyes are on you and everyone wants to know who you are. My goal is always to be the later. And it really doesn’t take much effort at all. I rsimply remind myself that I really like me, which brings an instant smile to my face and spring in my step and that combination always gets noticed.

When you’re with Mr. Right Now and you walk into the room and everyone notices, he will notice too and those little cock feathers (like a rooster, kids, not what you’re thinking! Although it could be both!) are raised and he feels good about being the one that is with you. It’s a male ego thing. Works really well. Once you’ve accomplished that, your evening has to turn out incredible.

I had a date the other night – someone I like, but no chemistry. I took him to a singles mixer. He was a great sport. I didn’t tell him what we were doing, I just told him to wear jeans that really hugged his ass. Sure enough, he shows up looking damn hot and almost had me believing I needed to rethink the chemistry thing. I’ve told him there isn’t any chemistry and that makes him try that much harder. Tee hee. I’m glad I brought my own eye candy because there wasn’t much else there. We went to dinner and dancing after and he flirted and pampered me. It was a great night! I even got a foot massage out of it! I think I’ll hang with him a little more often.

Tonight, I have a youngster planned. He’s 15 years younger than me, so not someone I would choose to get involved with. He is super smart and diverse which makes for great discussions. He, like me, is a scotch drinker, so we’re going to taste a few different ones at Dargan’s. And I’m kinda in the mood to see what transpires. I’ve had fun making out with him. And it is Saturday night, after all!

It used to be I wouldn’t even spend time with someone so much younger than me, but I grew out of that recently. Why not? They don’t have as much baggage. They are utterly refreshing. And it’s a huge stroke to my ego, knowing that younger men are hot for me!

I’m sure there are many women out there that would never consider doing what I do: dating someone they’re not interested in. I say, get over it or sit at home by yourself or with your girlfriends. (Not that there is anything wrong with hanging with the girls – I do that regularly as well!) I’ll be out enjoying life every chance I get.

Besides, I’m not sure I believe in all that soul mate, forever man bologna! People change. All of us. We’re constantly learning and growing and developing. And we don’t necessarily grow at the same rate or in the same direction. So I ask, should you stay with someone just because you’ve been with him for years?

In addition, I believe humans were not designed to be monogomous. Men are built to inseminate. They see a pretty woman, and they think sex. Women, for the most part, are the nurturing ones, but we can only give so much if we don’t receive as well. Sometimes you just need to change who it is you are nurturing and sometimes you just need to be inseminated regularly!

Have a lovely evening, people! I know I will!