Another Weekend In Santa Barbara

We are so spoiled. It’s Sunday afternoon, the sun is shining, there is a bit of a breeze. Just met a guy that moved here from Seattle – right, welcome to sunshine!

Santa Barbara is a bit of a strange town. I got a text Friday night inviting me to a birthday celebration at Blush for someone I don’t even know. And I went! Birthday girl shows up rather tipsy already and with an outrageous amount of cleavage – she did look great! It was a diverse group of 15 people, of which I knew 2 or 3. That’s how Santa Barbara is. Everyone is welcome regardless of the occasion. I’ve crashed more parties here then ever and have been welcomed each time. As much as I’d like to think it’s because I’m hot and have an engaging personality, I must admit this is just how people are here. Kinda cool.

After the b-day festivities, we all ended up at the El Paseo to listen to an 80’s band that is mediocre at best, but one of the guys in the band has a huge circle of friends and we like to support our friends. Being such a small town, there were at least 50 people that I knew there and probably 250 total. That’s why it is so easy to go out alone – I always run into people I know. There was also a birthday celebration going on there, and so we helped ourselves to the food.

I grabbed a seat geared toward voyeurism and realized how many single guys I know. Why is it that I hardly ever have a date, yet all of these men – many of them attractive – are single? Not that I want to date any of them, but it seems bizarre that they are out there and so many women claim there aren’t any good men left. Most of these men are good, not perfect and sometimes cheap, but they are good men – for the most part.

It makes me wonder if, as we get older, we end up with so much baggage that it interferes with our ability to identify the good people. I also believe the more relationships you have, you identify what you do and don’t want in a relationship and as soon as the prospective significant other shows even the slightest sign of having one of those red flag “don’t want” qualities, we high-tail it as quick as we can. I can’t imagine that’s really fair to anyone.

I’ve been told and have read that you should make a list of the qualities you want in a mate and a list of the qualities you don’t want, then rip off the side of the list of don’t wants and burn it. Then you’ll focus on the good stuff and that’s what you’ll attract. My list of wants was so insanely long, there is no possible way one man could possess even half of my want list. Am I asking for too much? Should I settle for less?

I was told I should sort the list in order of importance and look for the top 10. Right. Those are the basics: honest, trustworthy, monogomous, no jail time, good credit score, sane, healthy. Doesn’t leave much room for the fun part of life: sense of humor, adventurous, good in bed, and so on.

So, I’ll just continue on my way and hope that at some point, some great guy is going to sweep me off my feet and that list won’t even matter. Until then, I’ll keep enjoying my life as a single girl doing all the things I love – well, except that one thing you need a man for!

Ta ta for now!